Snapshot #0, Welcome

I am going to start a new series of webisodes called ‘ME IN 100’. This series will document me biweekly thought process on life as a 20 something. It’ll only be in three parts-about a 6 week commitment. I believe that’ll be enough of a snapshot to document the bginning of my 2022 experience.

A few of my followers on this site have been following me since I was 14, since then I’ve gone through high school, college, relationships, engagements, and life. Seasoned but barely the wiser as my uncle would put it. These wordpress posts have served as great ‘snapshots’ that captured my heart, spirit, and perspective on the world at the moment. I have a newfound appreciation on our ability to look back at ourselves. I know that that appreciation will subside throughout the year but who know, I’ll probably look back in three years and be struck again by the same feeling.

College: Investment Time

Now I’m in college guys, and what an exciting world it is to be in! There are so many different cultures and people from with different experiences. It’s a delight to sit down with a classmate and hear their story from time to time. A problem that constantly sits at the back of my mind is how college is huge bet. (Like I better get this assignment in before 11:59 pm/ I better get manage my schedule wisely or I’ll be overwhelmed this semester.)

What is interesting about college is that it’s not reserved to one age group. There are men and women here who are 70+ getting their bachelors and Master degrees. Women and men old enough to be my parents are my lab partners, which is amazing because they can always give their two cents on life and how it should be lived.

It is always nice to see people finally honing into their passions. My favorite college students are the music and theater majors. I enjoy how they have taken their special skill and decided to make a living out of it. They are the majors that usually answer, “Because I love it.” when I ask why they picked their major. I have talked to other majors- Account, Business and Marketing Majors- and their answers are sad in comparison. I get responses like “I heard they make a lot of money.” & “My [insert relative here]  did it so that’s what I’m doing….” My following question is if it at least makes them happy and they dish out the response of “Who cares.” or “I can work through it.” Isn’t that heartbreaking? Yes, it is practical to work and want a financially stable future. However, is it worth replacing happiness with content?

Sometimes when I’m stuck in a rut- or just tried of the daily repetitive processes I go through- I have to ask myself what I’m working towards. Sure I have a job now and I’m getting my education but am I happy all the time? No. So I reevaluate, I plan, and I move forward.

Pressure and Transition

I want to draw everything

I want to know everybody

I want grades that will support me when I’m old

But there is this wall

for it is so tall and so thick I cannot see or hear beyond it

This heavy wall is falling on me and I can feel it in my chest everyday

and  I move this wall, try my best to push it away

so I can see hope

it’s not there. I. Just. Can’t. feel it

For I am I blind fool with faith that there just might be crack

I want it so bad

to feel this ache, this pressure relax

just for a moment or by the grace of God, forever.

please just a second

please just a second

because you see, every moment that I let that weight settle onto me,

every moment that I do not fight it back

dought slithers into my mind like an oiled snake

maybe I can’t draw everything

maybe I can’t  know everybody

maybe my grades won’t open to freedom

every way  I think there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me

what am I going to do once I’m done

I’m at a free fall in the slope of unwanted options

maybe there is not light at the end of the tunnel for me

This poem  I wrote at 6:59 pm 3.21.15. I  am a sophomore  in High school  with Finals and  Exams  coming  up.  This  poem  depicts how i  feel. What  will  I  do  if I don’t past. How  will this affect my  future. Where is  the light? And let me be clear I am not afraid of the  exams, I just hate the pressure. What I am afraid  of is me. I know me. And if 5 finals and 1 Exam makes me want to hide under a rock, what’s going to happen to me Junior year, when I have 4 exams, cheerleadering, link crew, and me trying my best to get my certificate in Dental assisting. What will happen to me then?

This is me a year and five days  later 3/25/16 looking through my old drafts saying damn that wall fell down so long ago I didn’t even remember it. The pressure lifted, you learned laughed and made it. It feels good to make it.

Woman Work by Maya Angelou

Woman Work by Maya Angelou

I’ve got the children to tend

The clothes to mend

The floor to mop

The food to shop

Then the chicken to fry

The baby to dry

I got company to feed

The garden to weed

I’ve got shirts to press

The tots to dress

The can to be cut

I gotta clean up this hut

Then see about the sick

And the cotton to pick.

Shine on me, sunshine

Rain on me, rain

Fall softly, dewdrops

And cool my brow again.

Storm, blow me from here

With your fiercest wind

Let me float across the sky

‘Til I can rest again.

Fall gently, snowflakes

Cover me with white

Cold icy kisses and

Let me rest tonight.

Sun, rain, curving sky

Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone

Star shine, moon glow

You’re all that I can call my own.

As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes

As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes

It was a long time ago.

I have almost forgotten my dream.

But it was there then,

In front of me,

Bright like a sun—

My dream.

And then the wall rose,

Rose slowly,

Slowly,

Between me and my dream.

Rose until it touched the sky—

The wall.

Shadow.

I am black.

I lie down in the shadow.

No longer the light of my dream before me,

Above me.

Only the thick wall.

Only the shadow.

My hands!

My dark hands!

Break through the wall!

Find my dream!

Help me to shatter this darkness,

To smash this night,

To break this shadow

Into a thousand lights of sun,

Into a thousand whirling dreams

Of sun!

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.