Pressure and Transition

I want to draw everything

I want to know everybody

I want grades that will support me when I’m old

But there is this wall

for it is so tall and so thick I cannot see or hear beyond it

This heavy wall is falling on me and I can feel it in my chest everyday

and  I move this wall, try my best to push it away

so I can see hope

it’s not there. I. Just. Can’t. feel it

For I am I blind fool with faith that there just might be crack

I want it so bad

to feel this ache, this pressure relax

just for a moment or by the grace of God, forever.

please just a second

please just a second

because you see, every moment that I let that weight settle onto me,

every moment that I do not fight it back

dought slithers into my mind like an oiled snake

maybe I can’t draw everything

maybe I can’t  know everybody

maybe my grades won’t open to freedom

every way  I think there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me

what am I going to do once I’m done

I’m at a free fall in the slope of unwanted options

maybe there is not light at the end of the tunnel for me

---

This poem  I wrote at 6:59 pm 3.21.15. I  am a sophomore  in High school  with Finals and  Exams  coming  up.  This  poem  depicts how i  feel. What  will  I  do  if I don’t past. How  will this affect my  future. Where is  the light? And let me be clear I am not afraid of the  exams, I just hate the pressure. What I am afraid  of is me. I know me. And if 5 finals and 1 Exam makes me want to hide under a rock, what’s going to happen to me Junior year, when I have 4 exams, cheerleadering, link crew, and me trying my best to get my certificate in Dental assisting. What will happen to me then?

This is me a year and five days  later 3/25/16 looking through my old drafts saying damn that wall fell down so long ago I didn’t even remember it. The pressure lifted, you learned laughed and made it. It feels good to make it.

My wrestling journey

Wow it has been a whole year since I have posted, well let me get you guys up to date. I was in a couple of school plays at the end of my sophomore year of high school. Beginning of junior I became a football manager while balancing cheer leading which was a hassle. Then something happened that I had no vision of seeing. I became a champion.

Struggle against silence

kelzbelzphotography

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Woman Work by Maya Angelou

Woman Work by Maya Angelou

I’ve got the children to tend

The clothes to mend

The floor to mop

The food to shop

Then the chicken to fry

The baby to dry

I got company to feed

The garden to weed

I’ve got shirts to press

The tots to dress

The can to be cut

I gotta clean up this hut

Then see about the sick

And the cotton to pick.

Shine on me, sunshine

Rain on me, rain

Fall softly, dewdrops

And cool my brow again.

Storm, blow me from here

With your fiercest wind

Let me float across the sky

‘Til I can rest again.

Fall gently, snowflakes

Cover me with white

Cold icy kisses and

Let me rest tonight.

Sun, rain, curving sky

Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone

Star shine, moon glow

You’re all that I can call my own.

As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes

As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes

It was a long time ago.

I have almost forgotten my dream.

But it was there then,

In front of me,

Bright like a sun—

My dream.

And then the wall rose,

Rose slowly,

Slowly,

Between me and my dream.

Rose until it touched the sky—

The wall.

Shadow.

I am black.

I lie down in the shadow.

No longer the light of my dream before me,

Above me.

Only the thick wall.

Only the shadow.

My hands!

My dark hands!

Break through the wall!

Find my dream!

Help me to shatter this darkness,

To smash this night,

To break this shadow

Into a thousand lights of sun,

Into a thousand whirling dreams

Of sun!

Simple Happiness

I’ll never turn down a cup of coffee, but if it were up to me I would brew some tea

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.